So I’ve finished my sculpture based on a 2D work of art. However, although I have 3000 words to write before Tuesday I have spent the day so far watching the men’s alpine event online and going through the entire limited ed. Barbie collection . I quite like Nite Lightning Stacey. Apparently Ken might make a move on Barb over VD- he’s rockin’ a motocross jacket and new chiselled physique (she’s been dating some beach boy for the last few years). Also browsed the luxury gift section of FAO Schwarz and costed up a zebra rocking horse (approx. £3,800).
I have also been reading about the fine art of babywearing (who knew?), browsing babyslings and marvelling at the absurd variety of products/clothes/etc. you can buy for your baby.
Those evil Bugaboos. I swear, some of the sites are baby porn. No, not in that way- I mean in a cult-of-the-child way. Why the fuck do you need to buy an All Terrain Pushchair? The vast, vast majority of people buy them for fashion reasons, not practicality purposes. Just like 4×4 vehicles. Some people might say- “Oh, I need one to go blading with little Plum/Chardonnay/Henry…” Whatever. Is it safe for you push a pram at high speed through a busy park? What happens if you fall over? Elliot Ness will not rush to save your out-of-control baby carriage whilst you career towards the pond. I don’t care how good a skater you are. What’s wrong with walking? A bit of contact with your sprog?
Oh and don’t get me started on baby names. Given my current geographical location I have an unusual name and although it has caused me woe throughout my life I am very glad to have it. I hate the current trend for “old fashioned” names such as Jessica, Sophie, Joshua, Henry, and the trend of the birth name being the shortened version. Not Billy- William. Frankie? Francis.
Yes, it would be nice to have some variety of offspring at some point, but I like to think I am far too cynical (i.e. reasonable) to get swept up into the world of £700 pushchairs and the collective hysteria about kids there seems to be these days. Your life has to change when you have kids but the constant parade of mini-dictators I see who spend their time moulding their parents to their desires pisses me off. Apparently there’s a new trend in a nearby local authority of kids at nursery being allowed to eat, drink, play etc. whenever they want to. No set times, just as they feel.
What happens when these kids leave and go to school? Even go home each day? Routine and rules give stability and comfort and are important for decent future functioning out in the world. Kow-towing to every demand seems very very wrong and to invite future problems.
Mind you, I did quite like a black cotton baby beanie with skull and crossbones I saw on one of the child cult sites. No pink/blue classificiation for any child of mine. Piracy. Unisex.
