Monthly Archives: March 2006

In the words of the Soup Dragons

“I’m free to do what I want, any old time…”

For two weeks anyway.

In the words of Mr Ric Flair

“Wooooooooo!”

Reuters Study fails to show healing power of prayer

Fuck me… only one and a half days of skool to go… and i am desperate for the end of term. An evening dahn tahn with a long time no see friend, Mid Atlantic and Wrestlemania on Sunday night (!!!) and then two weeks of lie ins… bliss. Tons of work to do, but not having to worry about that terrible Year 9 class or that kid with ADHD is going to be great… but then again the job rush begins and my self doubt resurfaces. Goddamn.

I know i’m good, with ICT and art history a strong point, but the fact that my artwork is conceptual means that most viewers think I have no skills. Which is patently not true… I’ve got a fine brain in my goram head don’t I?

I enjoy the department I’m in at the moment in that it’s very laid back and my Mentor (who is fantastic) does not take everything so seriously as my previous school did- and this I greatly appreciate- but I have a feeling that every other department that I might interview at is as serious and up itsself. Sigh. Then again I am not one of my coursemates who will slavishly devote days to creating workboards illustrating things, because I refuse to waste my time on them.

Why can’t I just shut up and tow the line?

At least I will have time perhaps to head into Lahndahn, visit some friends, wander about a bit. Also, spending the day clad in only my underwear or my birthday suit is something I have discovered is quite fun. In the privacy of my room, like. I have bought lots of tasty food for the upcoming week… Slob out alll day… work on the overhang… I am excited.

Of course, expect a post about my cabin fever shortly.

In other news: My shavedness is turning out very well indeed. No ingrowing, irritation etc. Muy excellentay.

So after a very tiring day at skool I arrived home to find my day brightened by two new toys: shavers. Now I know yes, I’m pretty sad for getting excitable over such gadgets but let me tell you- after I had given them their virgin run I was most impressed. No slicing off of even the most delicate parts of my anatomy (hooray) and a really good finish too. Much better than shaving with a razor.

I like to try and keep myself a bit orderly in the undergarnment area (never wear a bikini, so not that line), and as I am a lazy individual the easiest, safest and most pain-free way to hair remove is so the best for me. If I don’t have to get my anatomy out I generally can’t be arsed. So the shavers are all good.

Then Destination X courtesy of Mid Atlantic. Twas good but to be honest I was pretty tired by the end of it and was glad to crawl into bed.

However, WM 22 is fast approaching and I will be too excited to be tired… Woo hoo! Have had it written in most every calendar I have for about two months and will officially begin to spazz-out shortly.

Spazz…

So i’ve been having the following dirty scenario playing in my head today:

Me and Mid Atlantic are spending a leisurely night on the town and are holed up in a particularly darkened booth. We’ve both got a few drinks under our belts, and I’m feeling oh-so-nice and mellow. I sit and look out into the rest of the dimly-lit bar, pretending not to notice his fingers running slowly along my shoulder and under the strap of my dress, i’m just absentmindedly stirring my cocktail.

I pretend not to notice the studied way he’s looking at me; I sip my drink, arch my back, narrow my eyes and relax into the leather-covered booth. I turn to MidAt and say that i’ll be back in a minute before getting up and wandering off to the toilets, knowing he’s watching my back as I walk away from the table.

Inside I lock myself in a cubicle, hang my coat up and sit down. I lean my head against the wall and laugh to myself; the metal paper holder feels cold and sticks to my cheek. I stand up and carefully step out of my knickers, bunching up the warm underwear and stuffing it in my coat pocket. I put my coat back on, leave and walk back to the table via the bar.

to be continued

Observer Bedroom Stories

I’m not so sure about the MidAt designation… Mid At, Mid-At… or something completely different? I like Mid Atlantic but it’s a little long to write.

Fiiinally saw Syriana last night. Twas good as expected, an adult film that taxed your brain just enough for it to be pleasurable. The brain is the biggest sexual organ after all.

Not as horrendously complex as some had made out, with truely excellent performances all round. I knew the torture scene involving George was going to be horrible (hey, torture ain’t fun) but I was quite unprepared for what I saw. Genuinely one of the more horrible scenes commited to celluloid.

LCD Soundsystem – Daft Punk is Playing At My House (Soulwax Shibuya Daft Mix)

Ow… sex injury rears it’s ugly head: A literal pain in the neck and I feel stiff and sore across my body. I obviously need to put in more practice, or at least stretch a little beforehand.

Aw, poor little Monky.

In other news: I need time to adjust to the way he treats me- He has always been far too good to me. I know i’m a decent, valuable individual and all who is deserving of such treatment but I’m not used to someone being so considerate, which can cause me to be mean.

To my shame, i’ve always been this way with him. Time and patience is required. Especially so I can reciprocate and finally cast off the layer of ice that protects me.

Though it’s better to stay frosty until I work out what’s going on.

I need to come up with a suitable codename for this individual. Hmmm… Mid Atlantic has a good ring to it.

Word of the day: Chickenhead NSFW

All I know is that he’s highly stimulating to mind and body, with a horrible ability to make me squirm to the point where I want to hit him he drives me so crazy.

I enjoy the feel of his manfur. Also, he is strangely tasteless (this is a good thing). He’s now experienced me furry and I don’t think he was overly put off. I enjoy teasing him- does this make me a bad person?

I don’t know what’s going on.

Stop thinking, relax and enjoy… and shut the fuck up.

Sigh. Getting the holiday itch. I want to go to Texas, or tour some National Parks. Vegas, Red Rock… I would like to find a secluded spot amongst the rocks, strip off and stand and face the desert before me, stretching my arms out and breathing the tight desert air. Feeling the hot wind on my skin and sandstone against my feet. Maybe stretch out on a boulder, get a red dusting along my spine and some grazes on my knuckles.

Never done public nudity before, and it wouldn’t really be public (i’d hunt for seclusion); being naked and exposed to the intense heat of the desert just seems right.

Never been to Death Valley or the Grand Canyon; i’d like to visit Joshua Tree NP and Rhyolite.

Actually, it’d just be nice to go somewhere fun and interesting with someone fun and interesting. And male. Aand appreciative. Dammit.

I’m not a huuge fan of mashups, but The Food‘s What I Diggity Say Blackstreet vs. Ray Charles is unnervingly good.

Doncha Dance by (the evil) Pussycat Dolls vs. David Bowie vs. Busta Rhymes courtesy of Mash is simply super. I have an intense dislike of the Dolls, but this one had me stripping and dancing all around my room. Mind you, the lines of that song are horribly cool, with the whole “Doncha wish your girlfriend was hot/fun/a freak/wrong like me” being statements that I can empathise with.

In other news, my keyboard is now working. I am confused.

Fascinating set of videos an afficianado of messy would love… I do not have a fetish for messy (and my messy room does not count) but from this video of fluroescent goop being drizzled over a gal I can see the attraction.

YouTube: Weird Messy (Fluorescent)

Whilst on the subject of fetish, Katherine Gates of Deviant Desires has recently updated her roadmap of fetish desire. As always, seeing the breadth of human sexuality is fascinating. DD is a really good site; informative and enlightening with a particularly good forum. Lots of discussion of ‘new’ fetishes and reassurance that normal is a person with a fetish and that they are something to be embraced and not feared. Lengthy debate on socially unacceptable fetishes too such as gerontophilia, paedophilia and necrophilia.

Wow. What a post from Girl With A One-Track Mind:

————

“Sometimes a girl just wants to be made love to.

It’s all very well my constantly gagging for a hard shag; faced with the right bloke, it’s not something I would turn down- I do so enjoy a rampant pummelling from a horny man.

But right now, I want to be fucked slowly.

I want to be with a guy that takes his time; someone who wants to discover and explore my body and who wants to caress every inch of me until my skin feels electric.

I want a man who will:

Slide his fingers through my hair as his lips touch mine
Softly stroke my arse, the curve of my back, the nape of my neck…”

continue reading the list of delights in Slow

————

Computing disaster today. Mid-way through writing this post my keyboard decided to give up the ghost. I could not work out what had happened; Windoze still thought the board was there but there was no life whatsoever when I pressed (bashed) the keys. My laptop is very old but I don’t really mind as i’m not a Far Cry or Quake freak so it’s not like i’m really having to tax the system.

This would be bad at any time, but just before I was about to begin writing lots of skool documentation was really not the greatest feeling. So after trying and failing to sort it I drove my wagon down to the delights of PC World. Of course, when I go to that evil place I can not just walk out with one item.

The major problem with a fucked keyboard on my old machine is that I only have one PS/2 port and one USB port. So I had to get creative as to connecting things. I walked out with a cheap keyboard, optical mouse (my mouse has served me well, but the grotty environment it rolls around in means it gets unreliable quickly), portable USB drive for skool work and a USB hub.

I hummed and hawed about what to get; I wasn’t sure whether the small hub would be powerful enough for what I wanted- suprise, it isn’t. Another trip back to the industrial estate. Woo. The lock lights on my machine’s board keep going on and off intermittantly; from research this might be due to the cable coming off the motherboard. I’m not sure that explains it though- why does my machine recgonise it as being there with no conflicts or problems? Hmm.

On the plus side though, although my set up looks really gorked and I am swamped with even more cables, I now have a working keyboard and a nice smooth mouse that glows in the dark and brighter when you move it. Muy excellentay.

I have been doing lots of random smiling today. Walking about and just grinning. At trees, bricks and things.

This is bad I am thinking.

Must stop thinking dirty thoughts… and maybe just thinking generally…

Word of the moment: Paradox

1. So I think I have managed to get over most of my specific issues with manfur. At least until I am confronted by A-Train

2. I embarked on the walk of shame so late into the evening that it looked like I was dressed to go out somewhere, so no shame at all.

All I can say is result. Result.

So I don’t have Sky, so no WWE for me. Also no Oscars. So what am I doing instead of either going to bed or finishing a lesson plan? Hitting reload on the Getty Images page for the Red Carpet arrivals.

After doing a small amount of work today I spent some time watching some lucha on YouTube. Mistico vs. Perro Aguayo Jr. and vs. Ultimo Guerrero are very good.

That site is a time sucker that’s for sure…

So sad. Am currently beaming with misplaced pride as my pledge of 10 bucks to WFMU got read out on air in thanks by X.Ray. Okay, so he mispronounced my name, but hey, I’m still beaming.

!!!!!

So this is how I work: I don’t do something, then proceed to spazz out about it, beat myself up and flail about without doing anything about said problem until it gets so bad I must take action. Tonight I am on the cusp of taking action and am feeling sorry for myself whilst simultaneously kicking my own arse about how fucking idiotic I am for putting it off. I do the self-kicking on a frequent basis.

Also today I am feeling down about the whole employment thing. My school buddy was a candidate for a job that didn’t even eventually exist at my first school; this is my first example of me not ticking the boxes for someone. I wouldn’t have taken the job if offered to me; I just worry that due to my lack of pushyness and general laid-back demeanor (when not ranting) I will end up somewhere that sucks or is geographically isolated.

I know that I could be a good teacher bringing much to kids, and on the personal front I know that when compared to a lot of people I have a lot going for me. It’s just sometimes… things get to me, severe self-doubt kicks in and in the half-light of my computer screen I’d like to curl up on my bed in the arms of someone who would kick my arse the rest of the time but hold me close when I need it. And get on my case after.

Just to be clear: I can function fine on my own, like I said sometimes it just gets to me.

Plus, WTF is wrong with me- I donated 10 bucks to the WFMU Marathon. I generally don’t do charity either; I must be feeling vulnerable… or I just appreciate the station a hell of a lot.

With women’s reproductive rights being seriously threatened in the US, a nice round up of DIY abortion has been published by Bitch Ph.D: Can We Safeguard Abortion?.

I did not realise that you can take a larger dose of your standard contraceptive pills as emergency contraception. Facts such as that are things that us women really should know but which do not seem to be publicised very much. Of course, if we knew we could take such action we would be having rampant unprotected sex all the time, irresponsible whores that we all are. Same goes for the morning after pill.

Women have the most to lose (or gain for that matter) by becoming pregnant, yet they are not the only ones in the equation- Why is it women are made out to be drunken sluts who get abortions done in their lunch hours and the men are rarely mentioned? All the women I know who have taken emergency contaception have done so alone without support, sometimes by choice, sometimes not. Teenage mothers are demonized- The number is quite small; what about the teenage fathers who knocked them up in the first place?

The post from Molly Saves the Day is particulary interesting- the mechanics of an abortion. I mean, I know the basics behind it but to read about what sound a curette should make when scraping against clean uterine wall is fascinating. It is just tragic that the majority of women across the world still rely on illegal abortion when medical/surgical techniques are very simple and greatly reduce the risk of death or infertility.

South Dakota looks like it is going to attempt to outlaw legal abortion for women residing within the state. So, it’s okay to get a face lift or your vagina normalized, but not terminate a pregancy? I swear, if men were equipped with uteri, abortions would most definitely be able to be done in a lunch hour and men would sit around in the pub discussing how manly they were last moth with the terrible period pains they had.

For the women of South Dakota: An Abortion Manual