After failing to receive a call to employment, I spent the afternoon taking care of myself. I caught up on two weeks’ worth of the internets, I pondered life as I know it, then I went mad crazy on the hot water front by first washing my hair in the shower and then soaking in the bath.
I took particular interest when shaving my legs; I peered closely at my wet skin as I slowly dragged the razor along, each careful stroke being long and smooth and slow. I have no reason to either soak in the bath or depilate myself; I think somewhere in my head I just felt a need to be looked after and have physical contact. I don’t mean in a sexual sense, but in an intimate way where I feel like care is being taken over me. As I lack anyone to take care of me my own physicality will have to do.
Whilst I was soaking I read a few stories from Best Woman’s Erotica 06 to recharge my mind, and I was particularly struck by In Snow by Teresa Lamai. Here is a bit that stuck in my brain:
“I try to shake the dread and promise that keep crowding my thoughts of him lately. Together, we seem to create a perfect circle of understanding, passion and discovery. But I can’t help the way my imagination keeps running ahead of itself, as if trying to find ways we can give each other even more. I think it’s the season, all the gifts and celebrations- the relentless hinting that there will always be something hidden in the frozen dark.”
