For a bit of variation I have not spent my Sunday afternoon depressing myself at the cost of living but have instead been amusing myself by looking at hairstyles.
This past week I have become increasingly fed up with my hair; I can’t get it up like I used to (heh) as it’s too heavy to respond to a blast of hairspray or a dollop of styling goo. Consequently it sort of sits there flat and lumpen or it gets in the way when I am trying to do my job. Dammit. Pay day is THANK FUCK this week and I have decided that a sound investment would be to get it all chopped off before it pisses me off even more. Plus I just feel the need for a change. Maybe it’s because of all that’s happened recently- the lack of money, the Dubai thing… My hair seems to be falling out in a greater amount than is usual too. Healthy.
When I say all, I mean short. I am not sure I want to go back to the fauxhawk as I am not sure if my fond memories of having that cut are not rose tinted ones; I want something overly textured that looks good bright red, takes two minutes to manage, can be put up out of my face and helps me feel slightly intimidating when I go out. Yes, really.
I think it goes with my appreciation of Rosario Dawson’s character Gail in Sin City- The Warrior Woman in charge of seeing that things are done right in Old Town. So yeah, I love the hair and attitude of an Uzi-toting hooker.
I just love the feeling I get when I walk in somewhere wearing something pretty or tight in a pair of heels that left me up out of reach of most of the men that ogle me. It’s the scare the locals factor.
Anyway, I have found a few possibles as far as the chop goes, but what I have found loads of it crayzee hair- Hair that has been done to be “creative”. I have been entertained by the hair but also by the outfits and makeup the models have to wear, for example:
What the fuck is going on there? The hair isn’t too bad but the posing and the white leotard? With the fringing?
I want hair I can wear with heels and seamed stockings and my tight stripy off-the-shoulder dress. I want hair that helps me feel fierce but will adjust to doing pretty when i’m in a prom dress trying my hardest to do feminine. I must prepare myself for being mistaken for a member of the opposite sex again, but whatever, I hope i’ll feel good, though that of course depends on the stylist doing a good job. Fingers crossed…
And there were a bunch of these big green round things. Humans call it peas. by appelogen.be
I felt marvellously cosy and content today as I snuggled under my blanket with my favourite star covered duvet cushioning me; my string of fairy lights provided a gentle background glow to Spirited Away and Howl’s Moving Castle and illuminated my tears as I cried over Chihiro and Sophie’s travails.
I still prefer Princess Mononoke to the supposedly superior Spirited– I like how raw the story is, the sacrifice and violence, but I did love the intricacies of the gods and the support network that runs the bath house. The soot sprites (shown above) were super cute too… I would gladly have them as fuzzy little friends.
On that subject…
I have been continuing to think about MW#1 and his possible move; the things he said to me about my importance were very welcome in that now I don’t feel like I have been caring without any reciprocation but at the same time what am I supposed to do with this information now that i’ve got it?
It’s not like i’ll be able to think, “Oh well… At least I know he cared for me, that I was important to him” as he sails off into the desert sun. He’s barely in my life but his presence is writ large upon my thoughts. And now he’s said he cares, is that the same as loves? Am I important as a friend or as a lover or as someone he loves?
If you love someone you want to be with them, share things and spend time with them, right? So if he stayed would he want to continue the whole not-see-me-for-months ignore-me-then-reach-out-for-comfort-type shtick? If i’m important and if he thinks about me so much then why do I feel so bad for sending him a late night text asking if at some point in the next couple of weeks he could give me some hugs?
I’ve gone out of my way to give him comfort when he’s needed it and have been responsive in doing so. He has never done so for me, although this is also because even though I might spend a lot of my evenings feeling pretty lonely I almost never seek out his affection, because i’m not in any position to ask for it.
Even after what he said, i’m still “just a friend” and “that girl that likes wrestling” and I am left feeling very alone indeed.
