The experiments I did last week in the pottery class I go to had come out well, so spending two hours yesterday evolving what i’d made and pondering what I could do to them with regards finishes was hugely enjoyable. I could make and alter and feel calm and in the zone as I chipped and moulded and squished and refined.
A colleague i’d not seen on Friday asked how things went with the interview; after I got her up to speed she asked me whether, as consolation, i’d booked my flights yet for Christmas and Petrichor. I brought the photography catalogue I was flicking through up to hide my face with an “Oh God i’m going to cry” and lo – tears a go go. My colleague hugged me and talked through with me what happened, commenting that it must feel like i’ve been kicked whilst i’m down. Yes, yes it does.
Anyway, no weeping today. I still feel sad and flat. When someone’s been in your thoughts in a positive way every day for two months, weaning myself off hope takes time. Sigh. Friday brings a break from school for a week which will be MUCH appreciated.
“Flow is the mental state of operation in which a person performing an activity is fully immersed in a feeling of energized focus, full involvement, and enjoyment in the process of the activity.”
Wikipedia – Flow
